Become Your Dream!!!

I’ve lived on the Upper East Side for about a year and a half now. Throughout this time, I’ve continually stumbled upon the following message:

“Become Your Dream”

Someone writes these words throughout my neighborhood… sometimes with chalk on the sidewalk, or sometimes in magic marker on old pieces of furniture that have been thrown out with the trash on the street. The words are usually accompanied by the drawing of a little fishy. Below are a few examples of what I’ve seen over the past year and a half…

Every time I stumble across this phrase, I feel inspired and empowered. I feel as though this message is written specifically to me. It may sound a bit crazy, but I’ve even wondered to myself if other people can even see the words or if it’s all just a vision taking place in my head.

So today, I googled “Become Your Dream” and I discovered that I’m not the first person to stumble across these messages written all throughout the Upper East Side. I found out that the concept began with an artist named James De La Vega. The origin of the fishy is from an image that De La Vega continually uses in his artwork depicting a fish jumping out from its fish bowl. It seems that De La Vega has been responsible for writing thought-provoking words all throughout the city for a number of years. There is even a museum of his work in the East Village. I don’t believe that all of the writings are necessarily written by De La Vega. In fact, I would wager that a number of people become inspired by his message and take initiative to spread the word on their own. How cool would it be if this movement really took off? Imagine kids, in neighborhoods all throughout the country writing on the sidewalk and on trashcans: “Become Your Dream!” I wonder if it was De La Vega’s dream to inspire and motivate others to become their dream… If so, his dream is really coming true!

This message has truly inspired me to take action and to become my dream! So I’m going to do it! Now, I just need to figure out what my dream is…

I know I want to become my dream, the hard part is trying to figure out which dream to choose. One thing is for sure- I can’t wait around much longer trying to figure it out! So, I’ve decided… I’m giving myself just until the New Year before I make a concrete decision to go after something specific.

To be continued…

Inspiration

Hey yall!!!

After taking a short break, I’m writing again! I’ve been super busy and somewhat not myself for the past month or two. At first, I wanted to write saying that I hadn’t been feeling inspired to write. You know how sometimes you hear writers or artists say that they’re not feeling inspired, and so they go for a while without producing anything? Well, what I just realized is that inspiration doesn’t always come looking for me; sometimes I have to go out and find it myself! It is so important for me to seek out inspiration and to keep myself motivated because if I want to be inspired I will find something inspirational. But, if I’m not open to being inspired I might just overlook some pretty amazing things!

Right now, I’m inspired by an article on Personal Excellence written by Mary Kay, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics. I read this about a week ago, and I keep on going back to it and re-reading it to myself. She’s really onto something! The following are some suggestions that she offers on how to achieve success:

IMAGINE YOURSELF SUCCESSFUL. Always picture yourself successful. Visualize the person you desire to become.

REFLECT ON YOUR PAST SUCCESSES. Every success be it large or small, is proof that you are capable of achieving more successes. Celebrate each success. You can recall it when you begin to lose faith in yourself.

SET DEFINITE GOALS. (In my opinion, this is both the most difficult and most important suggestion!) Have a clear direction of where you want to go. Be aware when you begin to deviate from those goals and take immediate corrective action.

RESPOND POSITIVELY TO LIFE. Develop a positive self image. Your image, your reactions to life and your decisions are completely within your control.

Today...

There’s an ongoing battle that goes on within my head and my heart. Throughout my life I’ve continually struggled with a condition where I become so focused on the future that I fail to fully appreciate the present. If you’ve read any of my blogs, you can probably tell that I’m extremely goal oriented. I like to continually set and re-set my goals. I tend to focus on what I want, devise a plan, and then take action to get it. To me life is a moving target; there’s always work to be done and improvements to be made.

Most days I feel grateful for what I have. But perhaps simple gratitude isn’t enough. Sometimes it seems as though I am never truly at peace with the present moment. It’s as though I never feel fully satisfied. I’m always hungry for more. Sometimes I think this is a superior quality to possess; it’s what drives me to work hard and it’s what drives me to succeed. But I have to wonder: is it possible to feel at peace and satisfied with the present while still maintaining high hopes and ambitions for the future? I believe that it is possible. I guess I just need to stop, take a deep breath, and remind myself each day that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be at that very moment. I should be grateful for what I have right now. Sure, there’s a lot to look forward to but for now- I need to be satisfied with who I am and what I have today.

Typically when I meditate and reflect upon my life, the majority of my focus is on my future goals and the steps that I am going to take to achieve them. However, I seem to focus on these things anyway, throughout the day. What I am going to focus on from now on, is relaxing and experiencing peace and gratitude for the present moment.

Body Sculpting 101

This past week, I decided to challenge my body in several new ways. As I mentioned in an earlier blog this month, my boyfriend has challenged me to explore a new physical activity each week for the month of September. A couple weeks ago, I ordered a book online entitled The Body Sculpting Bible for Men. I already work out everyday; I primarily do anaerobic exercise- or lift weights, but I also do aerobic exercise- cardio. The problem is that I tend to fall into the same routine week after week. Of course, your body gets used to your routine, and eventually you reach a plateau. So I figured that reading this book might give me some new ideas for how to take my workouts to the next level.

The Body Sculpting Bible for Men has A LOT of great advice for guys who want to get lean and gain muscle. So far, I’m only five chapters in, and it has already challenged nearly everything I do at the gym as well as my nutrition. I’ve began to implement many of the suggestions from the book immediately into my lifestyle. For instance, I typically eat before I go to the gym, because I presumed that eating before hand would give me energy for my workout. This book however, states otherwise. If you save your meal until after your workout, your body will burn it up much quicker. Also, when you work out, your body needs nutrients immediately after to help you recover. When I would eat before the gym, I would never eat anything immediately after because I wouldn’t be hungry yet. Also the book has really challenged me to consider not necessarily the amount of calories I’m consuming, but what I’m consuming and how and when I’m consuming it. I.e. what time of day to eat carbs vs. protein vs. fat; how many meals a day to consume; and in what ratio to consume carbs, protein and fat.

Regarding my actual workouts, the book has challenged me in several new ways. It explains that in order to continually progress your level of fitness, you must adjust your routine every 14 days. This doesn’t mean that the exercises you perform need to change every two weeks (although I certainly think that a little variety is a good thing)- you’ll probably always do bench press for your pecs, curls for your biceps, etc. But the number of repetitions you perform per set and the amount of time you rest in between sets should only be consistent for about a two week period and then should change entirely for the next two weeks. By consistently changing your routine, your body is forced to continually adapt to new things, and is continually challenged to grow and get stronger. Work outs should never last more than an hour. I learned that if you only rest 90 seconds or less in between sets, it feels nearly impossible to train any longer than 60 minutes. Another little trick I learned is to focus on the muscle you are training and flex the muscle for a few seconds immediately before and after each set. Trust me, do this for a whole session at the gym and you will totally feel the burn!

Finally, I’ve learned that cardio should only be done first thing in the morning or immediately after weight training. Otherwise, when you do cardio or aerobic exercise, it takes your body about twenty minutes before you actually start burning fat. Simply stated, if you do cardio first thing in the morning before you’ve eaten anything or immediately after your weight training regimen, your body is already at the point where it is ready to burn fat. You literally can save yourself time and energy if you follow this simple rule.

Clearly, I’m learning a lot of valuable lessons from this book. Now, it’s time for me to really test them all out and measure the results. I feel very excited about developing and improving my work outs and nutrition. But more than anything, I’m excited to look and feel better than ever before!

Ballet

Well, I tried another new physical activity this week. On Wednesday, I took a ballet class at my gym. Now, believe it or not- I actually practiced ballet as a child. I think I was probably about five when my mom decided that I should enroll in ballet classes. Or perhaps I was the one who had insisted that I wanted to be a dancer. Either way, it sometimes makes me question how anyone could have been even slightly surprised when I came out several years later. "Hello??? When I was five, I wanted to become a ballet dancer- the signs have been there all along!" LOL. Anyways, by the time I was six or seven, I had already moved on to my next endeavor.

Needless to say, I've become a bit rusty over the past twenty years. Frankly, I felt like some hefty football player prancing around in a tutu! The instructor was this little old lady, who, at first, I would have never imagined to be a ballet dancer. But then during the warm-up when she told us to stretch our legs UP, my leg lifted about 90° while hers was well extended above her head! I nearly exclaimed "Holy crap lady! How'd you do that???"

I certainly didn't expect to be great at ballet straight off the bat; however, I do consider myself to very in shape and quite a bit more coordinated than the average Joe. I must say however, that it's much harder than it looks and way more difficult than I remember. I felt like a dog walking on it's hind legs. I did my best to keep up and overall I think I made a good effort. I didn't feel like I lacked strength, or endurance; from the weight-lifting or even a cardiovascular perspective, ballet isn't that difficult of a workout. What it does require however (which I certainly fell short of), is an immense degree of balance, flexibility, coordination and technique. I'm really glad that I tried something new, but alas, I do not think I'm going to pursue becoming the newest member of the American Ballet Theatre. And so, just like when I was five- I'm moving on to my next endeavor!

Tramp-oline!!!

As I mentioned in my last blog, I have been challenged to experiment with a new physical activity each week during the month of September. I began doing research and to consider what new types of training I might like to explore with my body. I discovered this place online called the Trapeze School of New York or TSNY. TSNY offers many classes and activities including but not limited to flying trapeze classes. They basically offer training in any kind of acrobatics or Ariel sport that you might see at a Circ du Soliel type show. So I bought a package of six classes. It wasn't exactly cheap, but I can pick and choose which classes and what times I would like to take; and, the classes never expire. Also, I can use my classes to sign myself up for a class as well as up to two friends! Most classes have a maximum of only four students per class and they range from one to two hours in length- so you get quite a bit of personalized attention.

On Saturday, for my first class, I decided to take Intro to Trampoline. I figured, "Hey- I jumped on a trampoline as a kid. How hard can it be?" Well, it was a bit more difficult than I expected! First of all, the trampolines at TSNY are much more bouncy than the ones I remember growing up. Secondly, jumping on a trampoline is not like riding a bike- having not played around on a trampoline for several years, I felt a bit rusty! I certainly moved my body in ways that I hadn't in years, and maybe even in ways I never had before. I now feel that I have an understanding of how to perform some basic tricks properly and the coordination required to do so.

I've posted some photos as well as a link to a video of my experience below. Overall, the class was fun, but I'm not sure that it is a class I will take again. I had fun and learned cool new things, I just had one minor complaint- There were four students in my class. Besides my friend Lydia and myself, there were two twin girls in the class who must have been about ten or eleven years old. Of course, you only jump one person at a time, and each person learns at their own pace; however, I felt like the kids received more time and attention than Lydia and me. I know they're kids, but I'm also a paying customer. With so many other classes to choose from, I'm excited to keep trying new things that I've never tried before. Next, I think I would like to take an aerial silks class. Aerial Silks are long pieces of soft fabric that hang from the ceiling. Using strength, and flexibility, you climb the apparatus, move your body into amazing poses and drop or slide down from the silks in crazy, acrobatic ways.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1467114231044&ref=nf

September

My beau and I have been training together at the gym over the past few months. I’ve been pretty devoted to weight-lifting for a few years now, so I’ve been coaching my man to help him achieve his fitness goals. I’m always pushing him and challenging him to work hard at the gym and to carry out healthy eating habits. Now, he’s developed a couple of challenges for me for the month of September.

First, he’s challenged me to experiment each week and try something new with my body. Although I’m pretty fit, I don’t do much cross training; I basically lift weights everyday and maybe throw in a day of cardio or yoga every once in a while to spice things up. So over the next five weeks I’m going to explore five new ways to be active and stay fit. A few ideas I have include taking a ballet class and swimming laps; I even want to try out a swinging/flying trapeze! (I heard about a trapeze school in NYC where you can take beginner aerialist classes!) I’m really glad that he is pushing me to try out new things- this may be just what I need to take my fitness to the next level.

The second challenge is completely unrelated. He is asking me to spend time each week thinking and writing about someone else- it can be anyone- that is different from me or has made a decision different than what I would have decided. The idea is that this exercise will help me to better relate to and understand individuals different from myself. I guess sometimes I think that I know everything and think that my way is always the right way… well that’s what he says, anyway. LOL!

I’m not exactly sure what components of these challenges I will be sharing in my blog, but I’m pretty sure that you will see blogs throughout the next month focused on these two motivations: exploring new physical activities and reflecting on different people’s ideas and perspectives. Well, I guess I better get started- I have a lot of work to do!

Jack of All Trades… Master of None???

Last night, my boyfriend and I were discussing life in general and our goals for the future. As is common with many young people, we both feel somewhat confused about our calling in life; our higher purpose. We both have many talents and varied interests. And we both struggle with the feeling that although we are both good at many things, neither of us has found an area in which we feel we are exceptional or the best. For whatever reason, to be a jack of all trades but a master of none seems much less appealing than possessing just one thing that we excel in above and beyond the rest of the crowd. I feel like individuals that are good at many things can often live their lives undetected. Yet individuals, who are exceptional at just one thing, tend to receive recognition for that one thing, and are able to capitalize on it.

I want to be exceptional! I want to be able to capitalize on a skill or talent and really stand out in the crowd.

So to address this, I have come up with a few things I need to consider and some important decisions to make. First, I need to edit the various components of my life. If my focus is spread on to too many things, then I’ll never be a master of anything. Currently, some of my interests/focuses include my job, my relationship, modeling, physical fitness, blogging, my friendships and social life, my family, yoga, dancing, drinking, shopping, and traveling. Now, I don’t necessarily think that any of these elements of my life need to be removed entirely. But I could certainly pull back from certain interests to truly sharpen my focus on others. I believe that I will need to decide on just one or two to make my supreme focus. Maybe I’m okay with just being just an occasional blogger, or a sporadic yoga doer. Maybe I don’t need to be the crux of my social circle. Clearly, I can’t be the best at everything. But maybe if I can take a step back, and make a definitive commitment to truly focus on becoming as good as I possibly can at just one thing, in just one area; then I will be able to really stand out above the competition, make my mark, and get noticed.

Lady Rizo

I had an amazing time last Friday night. I had nothing planned except to go out with a group of my usual friends. But then, our friend Brad told us that he was going to surprise us by taking us out somewhere new. We we’re given no details of our plans for the evening. After meeting up at my apartment and sharing a few bottles of champagne, we made our way to Joe’s Pub. Unlike its name, Joe’s Pub was anything but ordinary. It’s a dark, chic, intimate lounge with tables and couches gathered around a hefty stage. After settling at a table just to the left of the stage, Brad informed us that we were there to see the remarkably fabulous Lady Rizo perform. Lady WHO??? Of course, we had never heard of Lady Rizo before… But let me tell you, her performance was nothing short of extraordinary!

Lady Rizo is this amazing comedian/vocalist, with stylishly over-the-top ensembles and the biggest fake lashes I’ve ever seen (which is saying a lot!)! She was sort of a Barbara Streisand meets Kathy Griffin meets Lady Gaga! Throughout her performance, she would change outfits every few numbers (Of course, any true diva would!) The best part is that each time, she asked an audience member to come up on stage and help her change behind the changing partition. The lights would dim, with a spotlight on the curtain so that all the audience could see is the shadows of Rizo and the chosen audience member. As she changed in the dark, she would ask the audience member several questions to keep the momentum of the show alive. Guess who she chose to pull up on stage!?!? Of course, non-other than yours truly! Then in front of a crowded audience of strangers she asked me a number of embarrassing questions, including several about how I lost my virginity! On the bright side, for being such a good sport, she gave me free tickets to come see her next show and invited me and my posse to attend her after-party. Miss Rizo and her entourage were quite an entertaining group of people. I have to say that Friday night was one of the best, most fun nights out I’ve had in New York City. Definitely if you have the opportunity, you must go see Lady Rizo perform! You can check her out at www.ladyrizoandtheassettes.com/ or find her on facebook- just search “Lady Rizo”.

Blahnik + Louboutin + Choo

One of my best girlfriends just phoned me tonight to ask me my advice on a recent purchase she just made. I’ll keep her identity anonymous as I gave her my word that I would not tell her husband how much she’d just spent on a pair of shoes. Puh-lease, like I could EVER even think of doing such a thing! To snitch would be a violation of the rules of feminism! LOL!

Anyways, she told me that she’d just spent $600 on a pair of Manolo Blahniks and needed some reassurance that she’d made the right decision. I can’t say that I’ve ever had the opportunity to rock a pair of fabulous, high-end, designer stilettos- so I can’t comment on their quality, comfort, etc. But, what I did say is that I can totally relate to her decision to “invest” in the perfect pair of shoes. A great pair of shoes (or a great handbag) to a woman, is like a great suit for a guy. It’s an investment piece. It can help land you a job, or even a date! People notice them, and to a true fashionista the distinction between ordinary and designer is clear as day- and totally worth it! (Although, if it were me, I would totally splurge on a pair of Christian Louboutins or Jimmy Choos long before I’d buy a pair of Blahniks!) Perhaps the best piece of advice I can offer is that if you’re trying to justify spending way too much money on a pair of designer shoes, the perfect person to call is your gay, shop-a-holic, best friend!

Lost & Found

I have some pretty exciting things going on in my life right now! Just last week, I began my new job with Saks Fifth Avenue. It’s completely invigorating to be working in a new environment, meeting new people and learning new skills. I’m confident that I will shine in my new role and continue to encounter new and exciting opportunities in my career. I’m also very excited about my new(ish) relationship; I’m truly happy and things seem to be off to a great start!

Then yesterday, it hit me.

I realized that I’ve been so focused on my new job and my new relationship that I haven’t been making much time for myself. Although I’m a very social person and tend to live a very fast-paced lifestyle, I generally take time (at least several minutes every day), to somehow focus on personal reflection and awareness. I do this by blogging, meditating, doing yoga, reflecting on my goals, or reading and doing research... by myself. I know that these aspects of my life are central to making me who I am; yet, sometimes when my life becomes so full of activity, I lose focus.

I know that I possess a deep, insightful, passionate and spiritual essence about me. But it is deep within me, hidden behind all the barriers, waiting for me to recognize it. I can choose to be aware of it or to ignore it. I think it can be so easy to just go through the motions each day without taking any time to relax or reflect and realize what’s going on within. For me, taking time to explore myself is also a means to developing a more expansive way of seeing the world around me.

Needless to say, the fast-pace of my life over the past few weeks and the focus of all my attention towards my job and my relationship has left me feeling a bit lost. Now that I recognize this, I can concentrate on getting back on track. Given all the newness in my life, I probably need to reconsider my goals and re-examine my focus anyway. I’m so grateful to have a new exciting job and wonderful boyfriend. But, I need to reclaim some of my time and energy for ME. I don’t think this is selfish. In fact, I think that by making personal time a priority again, I will ultimately be able to become a better employee and a better boyfriend. I think it’s all a matter of balance.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

“Only as high as I reach, can I grow. Only as far as I seek, can I go. Only as deep as I look, can I see. Only as much as I dream, can I be.”

I stumbled upon this quote today and I loved it. After reading it, I’m feeling all fired up and inspired… because it’s so true! I think that people naturally live up to the potential that they think they have. People who are confidant in their abilities tend to succeed; whereas people who doubt themselves fail. I believe in “self-fulfilled prophesy.” If you think to yourself ‘I can do this’ then you can! If you think to yourself ‘I can’t do this, then it just gives you validation to let yourself fail.

I often hear people talk about outside factors or external forces which make it difficult for them to attain their goals. “The economy is so bad.” “I have a slow metabolism.” “I’ve had bad luck with relationships.” Well, I’m here to tell you to stop blaming anything or anyone else besides yourself!

It’s true: I cannot control the outside forces that surround me. But, I have the choice of whether or not I choose to believe them or accept them. Sometimes, people have been told their whole life that they cannot do something. Sometimes all a person needs to succeed is for someone to believe in them and encourage them. I want to do just that! If you’re reading this and there’s something you want but you think you can’t do it or that you can’t have it; I’m telling you that you’re wrong! You CAN do it; and I will believe in you!

So what if the economy is bad? All you’re looking for is one good job. Just one good job! That’s not too much to ask for or to expect for yourself. Trust me, it’s out there and it’s all yours. So stop letting the economy or anything else hold you back!

If you want to get in shape, I believe in you. You can do it! Don’t worry about your metabolism or your age or your current fitness level. Focus on what you want and what you need to do to get there. I know you can do it!

Seriously, anyone reading this who needs someone to believe in them- I’m putting myself out there. I want to make myself accessible to YOU! I bet you that no matter what it is, I will believe in you and you can do it. So if you need someone to believe in you, please reach out to me. I want anyone who doubts themselves to stop believing their excuses and to just go for it!

S5A!!!

Word travels like wild fire. It’s impossible to keep anything a secret for too long! Many of you have probably heard that I’m leaving my current job and beginning a new position with a different company. Well, the rumors are true! I have exactly one week left with my current employer. Beginning August 2^nd I am starting a new job at Saks Fifth Avenue. The Saks Fifth Avenue! I am absolutely thrilled!!! This is exactly what I want.

I’ve had such a positive experience up to this point in my professional career. I’ve been very fortunate to work for two great companies where I have had the opportunity to learn and grow so much. And I’ve met and worked with some pretty amazing people along the way. But this will be the first time that I truly and unequivocally chose my employer. Both of the previous times I’ve pursued new jobs, both after graduating college and following my move to New York, I looked for jobs because I needed a job. This is the first time that I’ve been in a position where the reason for my job hunt was that I wanted a specific profession with a specific employer.

If you we’re to ask any of my close friends or family, they would be able to tell you that since I moved to New York, I’ve wanted to work for a high-end, luxury retailer- “like Saks.” For quite some time, Saks Fifth Avenue has been the archetypal corporation where I see myself growing in my career. I wasn’t unhappy at my current job. I didn’t apply anywhere else. I just knew that this was what I wanted. So I focused on what I wanted; I emitted my longing to the universe, and I took action. Of course, there were other requirements: the position had to be right for me and my professional and financial goals. But once again, the stars have aligned and I’ve gotten exactly what I wanted. I’m so grateful and so excited for what the future holds. And I can’t wait to use my corporate discount- let’s go shopping!!!

Have cake. Eat cake.

I believe that you should never settle for anything less than what you deserve. I want to have my cake and eat it too! This is generally the way I feel about life, and this is generally the way things work out for me. Whenever I think that I might not be getting what I deserve, or I realize that I want something more- I speak up, I take action, I go after it, and I get it. Sometimes I even surprise myself with how easily things seem to work out. Of course, I have my doubts just like anyone else. I worry that things might not go as expected; and sometimes they don’t. But I go for it anyway. And if there are any speed-bumps along the way, I keep going. And in the end, things always seem to work out.

So I’ve been considering why my life is like this. Do I just have good luck? What makes me so special? I think an important part of getting what you deserve is being honest with yourself about what you in fact, truly deserve. In order to get something in return, you first have to offer something of value. I’m not saying that if you just work hard and do the right thing, everything will go as it should. Sometimes, you have to fight for it. But if you’re really working hard at your job or your relationship and not getting the proper return on your investment, don’t just accept it. Find a relationship or a job that will reward you for all your efforts. Keep looking until you find it. I promise that it exists. And if you’re continually getting less than what you think you deserve, it may be time to reevaluate the value and worth of what you’re offering and reconsider how you can contribute more in order to get more.

There’s a really good reason that this is all on my mind, but I can’t reveal too many details just yet. Keep checking back to read my posts each week to discover the exciting effects of my hard work unfolding.

Happy...

I’ve been feeling so happy! Of course, I’m consistently a very happy person; but, my new boyfriend has just got me on such a high! Up until now, I’ve been avoiding talking about it. I didn’t want to make a firm declaration right away to my friends or family about how things were going in my new relationship because I wanted to wait to realize a certain level of sureness. But to be honest, I think I knew right from the beginning. My beau and I have been friends for nearly two years, so I certainly felt confident in our decision to begin dating. For whatever reason though, I’ve been concerned about other people’s perceptions and skepticism. Maybe I’ve been a bit skeptical myself. Sometimes, good things come in to our lives and we don’t accept them because we think we don’t deserve them or we think there has to be a catch. Sometimes all we have to do to be happy is just to let ourselves be happy. Sometimes we need to stop fighting it and let ourselves receive and enjoy the good things that are coming into our lives.

Well, I’ve decided to stop fighting it. I’ve been holding back from acknowledging and sharing how I really feel. The truth is that he makes me SO happy. This feels completely different than any of my past relationships. I feel so good about the whole thing and I’m optimistic about what the future holds.

I know people can sometimes be turned off by ooey-gooey new couples. Trust me, I’ve been there and wanted to throw some rotten fruit and shout “Get a room!” But sometimes, you just need to let loose and enjoy the moment for what it is. I’m going to let myself be happy and I hope that the people who love and care about me will support and encourage my happiness.

Take Me to the Vino!

On Saturday, I surprised my boyfriend by taking him on the “Take Me to the Vino Wine Tour,” an all-day excursion, visiting some of the finest wineries of the Hudson Valley. Every weekend, year round, buses leave from Times Square and take you around New York State to enjoy delicious food and wine, not to mention incredible landscapes. We began our day at 9:30am with breakfast and mimosas on the bus. From that point forward, the consumption never ceased! We had an amazing hostess named Revi. She was wildly entertaining and made each bus ride from winery to winery nearly more fun than the wineries themselves.

But I haven’t even mentioned the best part: our tour bus was a “Karaoke Bus!” That’s right. In between wineries, passengers got up out of their seats to perform their favorite karaoke songs. But wait, there’s more! At first it seemed like a mere coincidence that the first couple karaoke performances we’re literally the best renditions of popular songs you could possibly imagine. But by the fourth or fifth performance, the rest of the bus realized that they’re had to be more to the story. It just so happens that several passengers taking the tour that day were professional, on-Broadway performers! Can you believe it?!?! I was expecting food, drinks, and landscapes but then to top it off, Brenden and I got to experience impromptu performances by true Broadway performers, first-hand! Unbelievable. I can honestly say that the entire experience was one of the best of my life.

View every obstacle as an opportunity.

Sometimes, things don’t always go my way: you may be shocked to hear me say this. And sometimes, I make mistakes (It sounds crazy, I know!). But every time I mess up, it’s just another opportunity for an improvement. I’m reminded of this any time something doesn’t go exactly as I’ve planned.

Today, the most insignificant setback has reminded me of this concept. Yesterday afternoon, I lost my cell phone. I tried calling the number over and over again. I called every establishment I had visited that day to see if anyone had found it. I think that I may have left it in a cab. One time, I actually found a stranger’s cell phone in a cab and I was able to return the phone to its rightful owner. So, I was nearly certain that my good karma would come in handy given my current situation. But alas, 24 hours has passed and my phone was still nowhere to be found. So I went to at&t and got a new phone- no big deal… except that now, I’ve lost all of my contacts!

For a brief moment, this stressed me out. At first I thought of it as a setback; but as it turns out, this is kind of a cool opportunity. Naturally, the first thing I did was to message all of my facebook friends and sent out an e-mail to request phone numbers. Reaching out to my social network in this way has turned in to an opportunity to communicate with some friends and family that I may not have connected with otherwise. Also, losing my numbers gives me a blank slate, a chance to start over.

It might sound small, but I think that my life often works like this. You may get laid off from your job or break up with your significant other. But ultimately it turns out to be an opportunity to improve yourself, improve your life or pursue something another potentially better opportunity. I find it interesting, the concept that everything in life is a balance between two opposing forces. In Taoism they’re called the Yin and the Yang. Yin and Yang are interconnected and yet interdependent. When something negative exists, there is always a positive counterpart. What I believe though is that I have a choice weather I want to focus on the positive or the negative aspect of any situation. Some people would say that I’m missing part of the whole picture, that my perspective is limited. But that’s what works best for me. I choose the positive. I view every obstacle as an opportunity, but never the other way around.

Janice Dickinson has my back!

This is a true story…

On Friday night, a group of my friends and I got together to celebrate my boyfriend, Brenden’s birthday. Our night began at Rare View, a roof-top bar in mid-town Manhattan. After sharing a couple bottles of champagne and enjoying the nightfall among the city lights (the bar is true to its name!); we made our way to one of our favorite Friday night spots, Rockit. Previously, this weekly, Friday night party was located in the theatre district but last Friday was the unveiling of their new venue in Chelsea. Rockit’s special guest DJ this past Friday was none other than the world’s first super model, Janice Dickinson. More recently, she has been known for her countless appearances as a guest judge on America’s Next Top Model, and her T.V. show The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency.

Upon our arrival to Rockit, my friends and I were feeling energized and ready to dance. There were eight of us altogether waiting in line, five guys and three girls. We we’re dressed to the nines: Brenden and I in bow ties, our girls in party-dresses and high-heels. We get to the door and the doorman announces that we won’t be able to come in because there are girls in our group and that there are already too many girls in the club! (Keep in mind; this is a gay-club). At first, we we’re polite asking if we could pay for bottle service or simply wait for some people to leave. We explained that we were frequent patrons of the club (Although, I’m certain the door-man recognized us.) and that it was Brenden’s birthday party. Nothing would change the doorman’s mind. I was absolutely appalled. I have never been refused entry to any club! Reluctantly, we stepped out of line and began to devise our next move for the evening. As we we’re deliberating we moved towards the side entrance.

Unexpectedly, a limo pulls up to the side door, and out steps Janice Dickinson! She walks right by me as she enters the side entrance and I exclaim “Janice!” She stops turns, takes a good look at me and before she has a chance to turn around I begin explaining the whole situation to her. She looks at the rest of my group and at the crowd that has begun to circle around us and says “Oh honey, that’s just not happening.” She looks around and proclaims, “Let them in. They’re with me!” She asks for the owner of the club and demands that we’re allowed in, immediately. I give the doorman, a callous glance before entering smugly, Janice by my side. Needless to say, we danced the night away! Not only can Janice work it on the runway, she is an excellent dancer and well... let’s just say, she gave DJ-ing her best shot.

I will remember this night forever. I can’t believe that Janice Dickinson had my back! I’m glad that she understood the wrongness and the prejudice that this doorman and this club were encouraging. Friday night was amazing, but I have to say that is completely unacceptable and embarrassing that a gay club would discriminate against women. I expect gay clubs to be open and accepting of everyone. The gay community is fighting so hard for our right to equality. How can we demand equality for ourselves if we don’t grant others the same respect? Don't they know that these girls are our allies? They're fighting right along side us, on the front line! I'm so disappointed, and thus, I can firmly say that I will not be returning to Rockit.

Questions Answered

As you may or may not know, I’ve been dating someone new for the past couple months. About a week ago, I discovered this book entitled 1000 Questions for Couples by Michael Webb. I didn’t have any intention of buying this book; after all I’m still in the very beginning stages of my relationship. But, there was an offer to receive a sampling of 33 questions sent to your e-mail; 3 or 4 questions each day, for 9 days. So each day, I’ve been exchanging answers with my beau. I’ve been learning things about him and about myself. I think that many of the questions are great questions to consider regardless of whether or not you’re in a relationship. Below are just a few of the questions presented as well as my answers:

What five things have you done in your life that you are most proud of?

In no particular order:

1. Moved to New York / found a job in New York.
2. Graduated with my undergrad (in 3 years!).
3. Worked hard to get in great shape / grown to feel content with my body.
4. My relationship with ..….. Although we weren't right for each other, I learned and grew so much from our relationship and deciding to leave him has been one of the most important decisions I've had to make.
5. My friendships/relationships with friends and family. I have a lot of great people in my life- like you! These relationships take time and effort but they are by far, the most rewarding thing in my life.

Do you prefer receiving expensive gifts or ones that come from the heart?

Hmmmm... I like both! But I definitely prefer to give someone else a gift! I'm so lucky. I basically have everything I could ever want! If I want something, I get it. So generally feel like I don't need to receive any gifts- I'd rather just give!

What one skill do you wish you had learned but haven't yet (Play the piano? Learn a foreign language? Fly a plane? Etc.)?

There are a lot of physical things I would like to learn. As you know I'm really in to fitness so I think it would be fun to take classes to learn gymnastics, break dancing, pole dancing, etc. I just think I'd enjoy learning anything else cool and athletic to do with my body.

If you could live one year of your life all over again without changing a thing, what year would you choose? Why?

I would choose this past year. It has been amazing. I love New York City. And I love the person I've become since I became single again. Probably for the first time in my life, I feel like an adult all by myself. I've felt completely free to be myself, learn, explore, and grow. The past 12 months have been perfect- I would do it all over again, without changing a thing.

Broadway Bares 2010

This past Sunday, at midnight I went to the twentieth annual performance of Broadway Bares. Each year Broadway and off-Broadway performers, celebrities, and a countless number of volunteers come together and offer up their time, talent and energy to produce a steamy burlesque performance that attracts thousands of spectators. The best part: all the proceeds go towards the fight against AIDS! This year’s show was entitled “Strip-opoly,” and it was AMAZING. A few big-name stars of the show included Vanessa Williams, Kristin Chenoweth, Lucy Liu, Jane Krakowski, Katie Finneran, Alan Cumming, Christopher Sieber and Reichen Lehmkuhl. Not to mention the long list of major sponsors that made this event possible. Not only was the show wildly compelling and entertaining, it was dangerously hot and sexy. Some of the strip-tease moments even made me blush!

It’s so inspiring to see the number of individuals that unite for this cause. Together, the amazing cast, directors, choreographers, volunteers, sponsors and audience members raised over a million dollars (the most ever raised in the 20-year history of the event)! I am so proud to support this cause; and honestly, I had such an incredible time watching the show, that there’s really no reason not to!

For more info, check out http://www.broadwaybares.com/.

A blog about a blog...

I have been blogging for exactly one month now and this is my twentieth post. At first, I didn’t know what to expect from blogging, but I can honestly say that it is such a rewarding experience for me. I’ve been posting my blog on several sites, and sharing it on my facebook and twitter accounts just to see what works best. Each day when I look at the number of views, I’m shocked and grateful that people are actually reading it!!! I’ve been so impressed with the number of responses I’ve gotten from family, friends and even people I’ve never met before! Most people send me a personal message or e-mail rather than actually posting a comment for everyone to see. It’s been a great opportunity for me to reconnect with old friends and to make some new ones too.

I’ve also been pleasantly surprised that each day, I have something new and exciting on my mind to talk about. Until now, I’m not sure if I realized the amount of change and learning that one person can experience in just one month. Now that I have so many of my thoughts and experiences written down, I can look back and actually see the lessons I’ve been learning and the choices I’ve been making. I think that when something’s in writing, it creates a certain level of accountability. Whether you write down your goals, keep a journal, or write a public blog free for anyone to see- I think that keeping a record of your personal thoughts, ideas and experiences is a great idea! It’s helped me to reflect continuously and stay focused.

I’m discovering that I really like writing, so I plan to keep on doing it. I hope that if you like reading, you’ll keep coming back for more. And, I hope that if you have a question or comment, you won’t keep it to yourself!

Xoxo

Micah

The Real Housewives...

Why am I so obsessed with Bravo’s “The Real Housewives” shows??? I can’t stop watching. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the housewives of Beverly Hills, New York City or New Jersey. Each show I find fascinating. Of course they’re dramatic, outrageous and ridiculous. But I think what has me hooked is their glamorous way of life. What is it exactly that makes these women so different from the rest of the population? What makes them so interesting to watch? And how did they all attain such wealth, fame and success? All the women on these shows expect to live lifestyles of the rich and the famous- and they do! So, they must be doing something right. Right? I’ve written blogs about the importance of researching individuals who have already accomplished goals that you want to accomplish. I think that an important step to getting what you want, is asking others who already have what you want how they got it. So does that mean that watching these shows can help teach me how to become successful? Could it be possible for me to actually learn something from the Real Housewives??? Now, that’s a scary thought!

Money Money Money

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was reading What Should I Do with My Life? by Po Bronson. I’m just finishing up the book and today it really unleashed some internal questions for me. Basically, this book is a compilation of stories of numerous individuals’ lives and their careers. The author is pretty objective; he basically just recounts the various ways in which people have obtained success and fulfillment- which means something different for each person.

Today, I read a story about a man named Mark, who was making $250,000 a year as a VP for Wells Fargo. He essentially just up and quit his job one day because he felt uninteresting and unfulfilled. His career was basically the only thing he had going for him. This type of “revelation” is common throughout the book. However, what intrigued me about this story is that after a few years of pursuing a more “meaningful” calling, Mark realized that he had left behind the best thing he ever had. Ultimately, he found another great paying, corporate job and returned to living a life of luxury.

Throughout this book, many of the individuals examined, come to reject materialism in order to pursue something that they feel gives their life more meaning. I have to admit, as a young person trying to succeed in New York City, many of these stories are hard for me to relate to. Growing up in America, we’re exposed to so much wealth and so many opportunities. It seems only natural to desire money, power and success. Of course I want to be a Vice President of a major corporation. Of course I want to wear designer clothes. Of course I want to own a fancy condo in a Manhattan luxury high-rise. Is there something wrong with that? Should I feel shallow and one-dimensional for my pursuits? When I compare Mark’s story to many of the other people in this book, he certainly seems a bit less honorable.

Nevertheless, I think I can rationalize my drive to succeed and my materialistic nature. What I’m choosing to take from this book is that for me, it’s okay to want fame, fortune and success as long as I maintain a certain level of balance in my life. I can’t let myself forget about relationships; or forget about my passions, forget about reading books, or forget about the world. Money/salary should not be my only measure of respect or accomplishment. And most importantly, I shouldn’t work myself to death just to make money- it’s not like I can take it with me to the grave. I know deep down inside that money can’t buy happiness. But that doesn’t mean I won’t work hard. And it doesn’t make it wrong for me to like nice things… like the super cute Trovata seersucker check shirt I bought today! ( :