love...?

“It is likely that we fall in love with people who bring out the part of ourselves we want to see more of.”

I read this today and it really makes sense to me. I want to be in a relationship with someone who pushes me to be a better person; I want them to bring out my best. However, contemplating this statement opens up a can of worms: What part of myself do I want to see more of? Who do I want to be? Without a thorough answer to these questions, how can I possibly choose the right relationship?

Being young and single in New York City and having lots of young single acquaintances, I see people date aimlessly all the time. I too have been guilty of dating just to date. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with meeting new people, having fun, and enjoying your single life. But typically when I consider myself or my single friends (the ones who desire or at least claim to desire a relationship) and our dating lives, I look at it from the perspective that we are “looking” for someone we haven’t met yet. We are on a quest, searching for “Mr. or Ms. Right.” The truth is, we should really be looking and searching within ourselves first.

If you’ve read some of my earlier blogs this week, you read about my “Ready-Fire-Aim” approach to life. It is important to get “Ready” before we “Fire.” If it’s true that I want to fall in love with someone who brings out certain parts of me, then I must first determine what I want to see in myself before I “Fire” and begin dating someone. However, keep in mind that “Aim” comes last. Once you’re ready and know what you want to see in yourself, you have to just go for it. How else are you going to find out if someone is going to bring out the right parts of yourself until you actually go for it and give them a chance? Maybe you do know who you want to be, but then you get too wrapped up trying to figure out all the details of how things are going to work out. My advice is to “Fire” then “Aim.” Give it a chance! Try things out and figure out the details as you go. Just remember to first look within and consider who YOU are and who you want to become.

Xoxo

Micah