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I just want to be happy. But what makes a person happy? Is happiness really just about your outlook or perspective? I feel as though I’ve fallen into a rut and I want to break out! Will more money make me happy? Will more free time make me happy? I used to think I was unstoppable; that I could do anything. What changed? I had purpose. I had a goal. I was a work in progress. I had something to look forward to. Now, I’m not so sure what my goal is. I want to make $100,000 a year… but how? It’s not really so much about the money. I mean sure, I want to make more money so that I can afford a certain lifestyle. But I want to enjoy what I’m doing too. I want to have my cake and eat it. Many times I’ve told people that they can in fact have their cake and eat it too. Why not? The world is at your fingertips, I would say. You can have anything you want, you just have to take action and get it. Maybe I’m answering my own question: my problem is that I don’t know what I want. As soon as I stop having a definitive goal to work towards I became more focused on what I didn’t want or what I didn’t like about my life. I think that in order to feel happy, I need to have a definitive goal: a purpose. It’s so basic. I know this, and yet I’ve fallen into a rut. So then all I need to do is figure out what my goal is. No big deal. I just need to figure out what’s my purpose in life. It would make sense for my goal to be to become a buyer. That’s what I had been working towards originally. But I think I got scared that being a buyer is not really my calling. Now I’m so close that I could almost taste it if I cared to. I’m an “associate” buyer at a company that’s growing 50% annually- I should be a buyer in no time- within a year. By the time I’m 25! I would always tell myself, I want to be a buyer by the time I’m 25. So what changed? Why have I stopped caring about my goal? Is it because I’ve become so close to achieving it? If happiness is really all about your perspective then it shouldn’t really have much to do with what being a buyer entails. For some reason, I’ve let the stress of having a corporate job, the stress of running a business get to me. Do I just need to shift my paradigm? Or am I feeling this way because I need a bigger change: a different goal? A different carreer? I’ve wanted so many things. To be famous. To be a reality TV star. To be a personal trainer.To be a model. To be a hair stylist. To be a cosmetologist. To write a book. It seems I’m more of a dreamer than anything. The truth is, if I were to focus on just one thing, I think I could be great. No, I know I could be great. I’m just not sure which thing I will be great at. How will I know? Some people just seem so sure of what they want. I should know, I used to be one of them.

Become Your Dream!!!

I’ve lived on the Upper East Side for about a year and a half now. Throughout this time, I’ve continually stumbled upon the following message:

“Become Your Dream”

Someone writes these words throughout my neighborhood… sometimes with chalk on the sidewalk, or sometimes in magic marker on old pieces of furniture that have been thrown out with the trash on the street. The words are usually accompanied by the drawing of a little fishy. Below are a few examples of what I’ve seen over the past year and a half…

Every time I stumble across this phrase, I feel inspired and empowered. I feel as though this message is written specifically to me. It may sound a bit crazy, but I’ve even wondered to myself if other people can even see the words or if it’s all just a vision taking place in my head.

So today, I googled “Become Your Dream” and I discovered that I’m not the first person to stumble across these messages written all throughout the Upper East Side. I found out that the concept began with an artist named James De La Vega. The origin of the fishy is from an image that De La Vega continually uses in his artwork depicting a fish jumping out from its fish bowl. It seems that De La Vega has been responsible for writing thought-provoking words all throughout the city for a number of years. There is even a museum of his work in the East Village. I don’t believe that all of the writings are necessarily written by De La Vega. In fact, I would wager that a number of people become inspired by his message and take initiative to spread the word on their own. How cool would it be if this movement really took off? Imagine kids, in neighborhoods all throughout the country writing on the sidewalk and on trashcans: “Become Your Dream!” I wonder if it was De La Vega’s dream to inspire and motivate others to become their dream… If so, his dream is really coming true!

This message has truly inspired me to take action and to become my dream! So I’m going to do it! Now, I just need to figure out what my dream is…

I know I want to become my dream, the hard part is trying to figure out which dream to choose. One thing is for sure- I can’t wait around much longer trying to figure it out! So, I’ve decided… I’m giving myself just until the New Year before I make a concrete decision to go after something specific.

To be continued…

Inspiration

Hey yall!!!

After taking a short break, I’m writing again! I’ve been super busy and somewhat not myself for the past month or two. At first, I wanted to write saying that I hadn’t been feeling inspired to write. You know how sometimes you hear writers or artists say that they’re not feeling inspired, and so they go for a while without producing anything? Well, what I just realized is that inspiration doesn’t always come looking for me; sometimes I have to go out and find it myself! It is so important for me to seek out inspiration and to keep myself motivated because if I want to be inspired I will find something inspirational. But, if I’m not open to being inspired I might just overlook some pretty amazing things!

Right now, I’m inspired by an article on Personal Excellence written by Mary Kay, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics. I read this about a week ago, and I keep on going back to it and re-reading it to myself. She’s really onto something! The following are some suggestions that she offers on how to achieve success:

IMAGINE YOURSELF SUCCESSFUL. Always picture yourself successful. Visualize the person you desire to become.

REFLECT ON YOUR PAST SUCCESSES. Every success be it large or small, is proof that you are capable of achieving more successes. Celebrate each success. You can recall it when you begin to lose faith in yourself.

SET DEFINITE GOALS. (In my opinion, this is both the most difficult and most important suggestion!) Have a clear direction of where you want to go. Be aware when you begin to deviate from those goals and take immediate corrective action.

RESPOND POSITIVELY TO LIFE. Develop a positive self image. Your image, your reactions to life and your decisions are completely within your control.

Today...

There’s an ongoing battle that goes on within my head and my heart. Throughout my life I’ve continually struggled with a condition where I become so focused on the future that I fail to fully appreciate the present. If you’ve read any of my blogs, you can probably tell that I’m extremely goal oriented. I like to continually set and re-set my goals. I tend to focus on what I want, devise a plan, and then take action to get it. To me life is a moving target; there’s always work to be done and improvements to be made.

Most days I feel grateful for what I have. But perhaps simple gratitude isn’t enough. Sometimes it seems as though I am never truly at peace with the present moment. It’s as though I never feel fully satisfied. I’m always hungry for more. Sometimes I think this is a superior quality to possess; it’s what drives me to work hard and it’s what drives me to succeed. But I have to wonder: is it possible to feel at peace and satisfied with the present while still maintaining high hopes and ambitions for the future? I believe that it is possible. I guess I just need to stop, take a deep breath, and remind myself each day that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be at that very moment. I should be grateful for what I have right now. Sure, there’s a lot to look forward to but for now- I need to be satisfied with who I am and what I have today.

Typically when I meditate and reflect upon my life, the majority of my focus is on my future goals and the steps that I am going to take to achieve them. However, I seem to focus on these things anyway, throughout the day. What I am going to focus on from now on, is relaxing and experiencing peace and gratitude for the present moment.

Body Sculpting 101

This past week, I decided to challenge my body in several new ways. As I mentioned in an earlier blog this month, my boyfriend has challenged me to explore a new physical activity each week for the month of September. A couple weeks ago, I ordered a book online entitled The Body Sculpting Bible for Men. I already work out everyday; I primarily do anaerobic exercise- or lift weights, but I also do aerobic exercise- cardio. The problem is that I tend to fall into the same routine week after week. Of course, your body gets used to your routine, and eventually you reach a plateau. So I figured that reading this book might give me some new ideas for how to take my workouts to the next level.

The Body Sculpting Bible for Men has A LOT of great advice for guys who want to get lean and gain muscle. So far, I’m only five chapters in, and it has already challenged nearly everything I do at the gym as well as my nutrition. I’ve began to implement many of the suggestions from the book immediately into my lifestyle. For instance, I typically eat before I go to the gym, because I presumed that eating before hand would give me energy for my workout. This book however, states otherwise. If you save your meal until after your workout, your body will burn it up much quicker. Also, when you work out, your body needs nutrients immediately after to help you recover. When I would eat before the gym, I would never eat anything immediately after because I wouldn’t be hungry yet. Also the book has really challenged me to consider not necessarily the amount of calories I’m consuming, but what I’m consuming and how and when I’m consuming it. I.e. what time of day to eat carbs vs. protein vs. fat; how many meals a day to consume; and in what ratio to consume carbs, protein and fat.

Regarding my actual workouts, the book has challenged me in several new ways. It explains that in order to continually progress your level of fitness, you must adjust your routine every 14 days. This doesn’t mean that the exercises you perform need to change every two weeks (although I certainly think that a little variety is a good thing)- you’ll probably always do bench press for your pecs, curls for your biceps, etc. But the number of repetitions you perform per set and the amount of time you rest in between sets should only be consistent for about a two week period and then should change entirely for the next two weeks. By consistently changing your routine, your body is forced to continually adapt to new things, and is continually challenged to grow and get stronger. Work outs should never last more than an hour. I learned that if you only rest 90 seconds or less in between sets, it feels nearly impossible to train any longer than 60 minutes. Another little trick I learned is to focus on the muscle you are training and flex the muscle for a few seconds immediately before and after each set. Trust me, do this for a whole session at the gym and you will totally feel the burn!

Finally, I’ve learned that cardio should only be done first thing in the morning or immediately after weight training. Otherwise, when you do cardio or aerobic exercise, it takes your body about twenty minutes before you actually start burning fat. Simply stated, if you do cardio first thing in the morning before you’ve eaten anything or immediately after your weight training regimen, your body is already at the point where it is ready to burn fat. You literally can save yourself time and energy if you follow this simple rule.

Clearly, I’m learning a lot of valuable lessons from this book. Now, it’s time for me to really test them all out and measure the results. I feel very excited about developing and improving my work outs and nutrition. But more than anything, I’m excited to look and feel better than ever before!

Ballet

Well, I tried another new physical activity this week. On Wednesday, I took a ballet class at my gym. Now, believe it or not- I actually practiced ballet as a child. I think I was probably about five when my mom decided that I should enroll in ballet classes. Or perhaps I was the one who had insisted that I wanted to be a dancer. Either way, it sometimes makes me question how anyone could have been even slightly surprised when I came out several years later. "Hello??? When I was five, I wanted to become a ballet dancer- the signs have been there all along!" LOL. Anyways, by the time I was six or seven, I had already moved on to my next endeavor.

Needless to say, I've become a bit rusty over the past twenty years. Frankly, I felt like some hefty football player prancing around in a tutu! The instructor was this little old lady, who, at first, I would have never imagined to be a ballet dancer. But then during the warm-up when she told us to stretch our legs UP, my leg lifted about 90° while hers was well extended above her head! I nearly exclaimed "Holy crap lady! How'd you do that???"

I certainly didn't expect to be great at ballet straight off the bat; however, I do consider myself to very in shape and quite a bit more coordinated than the average Joe. I must say however, that it's much harder than it looks and way more difficult than I remember. I felt like a dog walking on it's hind legs. I did my best to keep up and overall I think I made a good effort. I didn't feel like I lacked strength, or endurance; from the weight-lifting or even a cardiovascular perspective, ballet isn't that difficult of a workout. What it does require however (which I certainly fell short of), is an immense degree of balance, flexibility, coordination and technique. I'm really glad that I tried something new, but alas, I do not think I'm going to pursue becoming the newest member of the American Ballet Theatre. And so, just like when I was five- I'm moving on to my next endeavor!

Tramp-oline!!!

As I mentioned in my last blog, I have been challenged to experiment with a new physical activity each week during the month of September. I began doing research and to consider what new types of training I might like to explore with my body. I discovered this place online called the Trapeze School of New York or TSNY. TSNY offers many classes and activities including but not limited to flying trapeze classes. They basically offer training in any kind of acrobatics or Ariel sport that you might see at a Circ du Soliel type show. So I bought a package of six classes. It wasn't exactly cheap, but I can pick and choose which classes and what times I would like to take; and, the classes never expire. Also, I can use my classes to sign myself up for a class as well as up to two friends! Most classes have a maximum of only four students per class and they range from one to two hours in length- so you get quite a bit of personalized attention.

On Saturday, for my first class, I decided to take Intro to Trampoline. I figured, "Hey- I jumped on a trampoline as a kid. How hard can it be?" Well, it was a bit more difficult than I expected! First of all, the trampolines at TSNY are much more bouncy than the ones I remember growing up. Secondly, jumping on a trampoline is not like riding a bike- having not played around on a trampoline for several years, I felt a bit rusty! I certainly moved my body in ways that I hadn't in years, and maybe even in ways I never had before. I now feel that I have an understanding of how to perform some basic tricks properly and the coordination required to do so.

I've posted some photos as well as a link to a video of my experience below. Overall, the class was fun, but I'm not sure that it is a class I will take again. I had fun and learned cool new things, I just had one minor complaint- There were four students in my class. Besides my friend Lydia and myself, there were two twin girls in the class who must have been about ten or eleven years old. Of course, you only jump one person at a time, and each person learns at their own pace; however, I felt like the kids received more time and attention than Lydia and me. I know they're kids, but I'm also a paying customer. With so many other classes to choose from, I'm excited to keep trying new things that I've never tried before. Next, I think I would like to take an aerial silks class. Aerial Silks are long pieces of soft fabric that hang from the ceiling. Using strength, and flexibility, you climb the apparatus, move your body into amazing poses and drop or slide down from the silks in crazy, acrobatic ways.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1467114231044&ref=nf